Written on 2024-09-16

When we say “honor”, images of knights and chivalry spring to mind. Something old-fashioned, antiquated, abstract. Today’s world is all about the realities of hustle, and getting ahead. After all, it’s just business.

Today, I’d like to make an argument that honor is both relevant and immediately useful to you.

First, a story:

I was recently romantically pursued by a woman in a failing relationship. I was attracted to her, and I’m no saint - I’ve previously pursued women who I’ve known had boyfriends before. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, right?

Yet… the past few months have me thinking more carefully about my impact on the world around me. I realized that I’ve spent my life seeking to Get things for myself: wealth, career success, respect, experiences, romantic conquest. I’ve been a value vampire, hunting out & consuming value from the world around me.

Since then, I’ve begun experimenting with a focus on adding value to the world around me without asking anything in return. Make a net positive impact wherever I am.

So I made a different choice with the romantic opportunity. I declined, and tried to give her advice on salvaging her failing relationship.

I won’t lie, it sucked at first. We had chemistry, and she was hurt by my gentle rejection.

However, over the next few days I noticed a newfound confidence interacting with strangers. It was as if I could stand tall and look them in the eye because my subconscious believed, “I will do right by you.” It felt like a weight I’d never noticed had eased - the weight of not knowing if I could trust myself in tempting-but-dishonorable situations.

A week later, a situation arose with a friend that seemed to paint me in a bad light. I had only my word and my proactive communication to vouch that I meant no harm, and I simply hadn’t realized the negative interpretation. That same friend had already heard about me declining the romance, and he gave me the benefit of the doubt. We worked through the situation, and resolved the issue.

It was only then that I realized how my small decision to be honorable with the romance had farther-reaching implications than I could have seen.

My decision to take a different, more honorable path than Old Kevin proved tactically useful. I stuck to my principle of putting positive energy out into the world, and I was rewarded with positive energy in return. As the saying goes…

Easy choices, hard life; hard choices, easy life

But even ignoring the benefits to myself, an honorable person is a rare commodity in a world where honor is increasingly sold for dollars or fame. If your behaviour displays, “I do the right thing regardless of the personal gain,” you teach those in your life that you are reliable and can be trusted with greater responsibility. The world brings opportunity to you.

Honor’s reputation as antiquated and abstract is undeserved. It’s both relevant and useful right now.