Written on 2024-09-23

I just completed nearly 4 months of summer travel. This post is primarily for myself, cataloguing lessons learned:

What went well

  • Choosing to stay with friends, rather than get an Airbnb or hotel, was a resounding success. I made a bet that staying with friends would result in more casual, unplanned conversations leading to closer bonding, and I was more right than I guessed.
    • Having an apartment that’s able to receive guests (both socially, and for staying over) is a BIG value-add. My apartment in Brazil really can’t do this: it’s not comfortable in certain ways (no TVs, labyrinthine layout, chairs + table are uncomfortable, doesn’t have a good place for a guest to stay)
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Move to a new, more open apartment and add a guest room?
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Upgrade my Brazil apartment’s kitchen table & chairs
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: swap out my dining room’s overhead lights? They’re just too strong/bright/hot.
  • I’m very happy to have solidified bonds with many people I love: Dad, Victor, Gyani, Derek, Dan, Tedi, Omar, Isaac, Eoin, Yannik, Mads, and DanK
  • I got a ton of practice of surrendering to whatever was happening, not imposing my preferences
    • MAINTAIN: keep doing this! Letting of expectations, being okay with whatever happens. DanK explicitly called this out as a value-add to him when I stayed with him.
  • I discovered just how much a giving mindset makes me nice to be around, and makes me feel good. When I’m focusing on giving, I don’t have to worry about whether I’ve made a social faux pas, or if I’m being cool or whatnot because I know I’m coming from a place of intending good for the other person.
  • I got to see Sofia, Bulgaria and had a great time there.
  • I stayed active with weightlifting, yoga, and other physical activities the entire trip. As a result, I’ve come back home in even better shape than when I left.
    • This was important to me, going in: I resolved that I didn’t want my activity habits to cease.
    • MAINTAIN: On future trips, definitely keep emphasizing physical activity. The rule, “just do 30 minutes of physical activity per day” from Martin was a BIG help; freeing myself to do yoga or rock climbing or weightlifting or even just a run was way more freeing.
      • Perhaps there’s a lesson in this? That in order to keep a habit going, sometimes you have to give yourself multiple valid options?
  • I volunteered at an animal shelter, and discovered that it’s a great way to get dog exposure without actually needing a dog.
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Sign up for volunteering at animal shelters in São Paulo?
  • It was a cool experience seeing how taking DanK’s doggo for walks gave a break from screens, from being indoors, from artificial light.
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Get my own doggo?
  • I got to see how a large space, with lots of morning natural light (like Eoin and Yannik have),
  • I frequently went to the parks, and for walks, in Sofia. It was impressive how much walking plus sitting & thinking that I did, and how good it was for my mental state.
    • The greenery in particular - being able to lie on the grass and look at the trees, both in Sofia and Charlotte - was very soothing
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Move to a place where I can get more natural walking & greenery
  • I’ve built a very strong journalling habit (represented, in part, by doing this retrospective)
    • MAINTAIN: Keep using journalling as a tactical tool for controlling my emotional state!
  • I got to see a TON of cool places
    • Sofia, including various neat urban areas (and Alexander Nevskiy) and up the mountainside of Vitosha
    • The food hall inside a church in London
    • The various cliffs & pasturelands of the Peaks District
    • Charlotte, NC
    • The container food truck hall in Copenhagen
  • I built out my Instagram page (my “social resume”) quite a bit
  • Turning down Cor’s invitation to come down to Tulum was absolutely the right call; I just didn’t have the battery for it.
  • I did a great job packing: I had everything I needed to travel nearly indefinitely; I wouldn’t do much different from a packing standpoint
    • MAINTAIN: the packing list idea of, “everything that I use in a week” was a great idea!
    • ACTION: update my packing list to include everything I took on my trip, so I can replicate this in the future
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: Next time, maybe ditch some of the skintight black shirts that I never used, but that’s really it
  • I discovered the LookAway app, to help me control my screen time
  • I got to do both competition climbing in Denmark, and deepwater solo’ing in Charlotte!
  • I got to do mountain biking twice, in the Peaks District and again in Charlotte
  • I learned a bunch more about how interacting on Instagram works; I really had no idea how to do it before the trip
  • I did a good job in the latter half of the trip getting natural light in the mornings, to help set my circadian clock.
    • MAINTAIN: Keep doing this!
  • Likewise, the few times that I did watch the sunset (to help prime my body for sleep), it worked well.
    • ACTION: try to emphasize watching the sunset?
  • Turning off screens at 22h30 is a very good way to get me into bed on time, letting my body naturally wind down.
  • I got to experience an LSD trip, and see my (current) limits of anxiety with the anxious experience out in the field.
  • Getting away, breaking my routine and seeing something different, was really cool. It’s been a while since I nomad’ed in the wake of the travel burnout I had after my 20’s; it was nice to reboot those adventuring muscles.
    • Europe in the summer is a particular type of special; I really enjoyed it.
    • POSSIBLE ACTION: do an annual summer Eurotrip?
  • I had the space & freedom to practice doing men’s therapy/coaching, and I discovered that I’m able to deliver something valuable in it.
    • MAINTAIN: Definitely keep providing this for guys! It feels scary, not knowing where it’ll lead or if it’ll ever make me money, but in the vein of product development I should go where the pull is.
  • I had some fun romantic adventures
  • Going to Denmark to visit Mads, while not originally in the plan, was a lot of fun. It was the perfect length of stay, too.
    • This is probably a good lesson for me: 5-7 days is about right, depending on who I’m visiting.
  • I started taking naps when I felt tired in the afternoon; this proved to be very useful for me as I think it kept me with more energy and in a better mood (versus my regular strategy of just pushing through).
  • I got a better idea of the value I provide to others, as relayed by Eoin and Yannik.
  • I re-trialled not drinking, and discovered a lot of value in it.
    • I no longer feel as much social pressure to drink to fit in, and I’m finding that not drinking has me feeling much healthier, mentally & physically.
  • I kept up my guitar practice to the extent I was able to, when a guitar was available
  • I got to form new social relationships with some cool people in Bulgaria
  • I’ve made very significant progress on letting go of the events of Kurtosis, which have had a hold on me for months
    • MAINTAIN: I’ve identified a visual of all my frustrations, written on a piece of paper and getting burned up and carried away by the wind. This has proven effective; keep working on it.
  • I’ve identified a self-wound, a feeling of a thing I didn’t get as a kid that I’ve been carrying as a weight on my shoulders. I’m tired of carrying it, and I’m actively searching for how to let go of it (this is big progress for me, though full details merit its own post).
    • MAINTAIN: Keep journalling on how to let go of this.

What didn’t go well

  • I probably travelled for a biit too long; I was flagging by the end (though nothing too bad)
  • I spent a LOT of time on screens, and now my eyes are feeling it: my vision seems to be maybe perma-blurry, my vision bounces a bit (perhaps due to eyestrain?), and I can see mild flashes in my vision as my retina stretches in various ways (usually associated with eye movement)
    • This is causing a significant negative effect on my peace of mind.
    • ACTION: Start taking systematic steps towards correcting my vision. (Including, moving to a location where it’s nice to be outside so I’m encouraged to spend time outside?)
  • I was mildly-to-moderately sleep deprived the entire trip, because I kept wanting to enjoy the current moment.
    • I do think I’m getting slightly better at prioritizing health over More Experience though.
    • ACTION: definitely, get back into a routine of sleeping well.
  • The last legs of the trip had some travel snafus which were annoying, though in truth they were great practice for accepting whatever the universe throws at me without getting bent out of shape.
    • E.g., like some of the travellers did when the flight to Charlotte got delayed.
  • Got food poisoning, wiping me out for a couple days (though in truth, I don’t even count this as something that ‘didn’t go well’ since it’s just a part of life; I couldn’t have done anything differently)